“…Celestial Junk is funnier than Chretien’s face and has more laughs a minute than a Jack Layton press conference.”
-Western Standard Time
“It has been said that Paul and Junker are the wittiest chaps on the internet. This humble author might add ‘I like thy wit well’ CJunk! ”
-P. Barnsworth Wentington, The New Yorker
“…..a winning combination of comedy, crass, politics and style, the brilliant machinations of CJunk will have you rolling on the floor and voting conservative within 5 minutes of logging onto their site.”
-Rolling Stone Magazine
“Them there Cjunky boys are hilarious!”
-Some Kentucky hillbilly, Celestial Junk Comments
This slow news day is the perfect chance for you to enjoy the much acclaimed comedic stylings of Celestial Junk. Enjoy.
Pulp Fatwa - "Who's turban is this?" "It's BL's." "Who's BL?" "BL's dead baby, BL's dead."
SUV Love - Where the Jimmy meets the road.
Nice Beaver - A long and penetrating history.
Even Better Than the Real Thing – Are you a Probst-a-phobe?
Hobnobbing with the Stars - ONE MAN. ONE PARTY. SEVERAL DOZEN SOCIALISTS AND NO WAY OUT!
Hobbnobbing II: Return of the Knobs - Noam, Slick Willy, and at least one Baldwin, all in the same room! This years blockbuster must see horor.
Hobbnobing III: Knobs Unleashed - I brave pampered snobbery, ONE....MORE.....TIME
A Pant's Passing - RIP Levi's Dockers Wrinkle Free Classic Fit pants
The Hounds of Ottawa - I dare say the Liberals did it Watson, it is purely elementary
Fatwa Fashion File - The most explosive numbers in this years spring collection
The Case of the Crooked Faced Man - A most perplexing peculiarity of paramount proportions
War, what is it good for? – The Penn is mightier than the sword.
Harper’s Reich – Meinkampf for Manitobans.
“…not gay, metrosexual.” – Plaid, we hardy knew ye.
101 Damiens - Why doth thus torture us Disney? Think of the children!
Set Stupidity to Full - Goodbye Sci-Fi, you won’t be missed
What You Talk'n Bout Comrade?! - Communist TV and The bionic Six Million Ruble Comrade
Faith Lickin’ Good - What do Jesus, Odin, and Tom Cruise have in common?
Thought for Food - Satan thy name is Tofu
At the Ladens - The Red Carpet pre-show for the 10th annual Bin-Cademy Film Awards
Ba bababa, ba bababa, Baby! - Madonna, Abba, and a strange feeling of Voulez-Vous Vu
Celestial Junk: Between the Posts - VH2 presents an in depth look at the men between the posts
Give Me a Break - Only the resurrected corpse of Sargon the first can save us now
Can You Hear Me Now? - Dancing Babies on cell phones....the future is now
Gut Wrenching!: A Guided Tour to Popular Musical Theater - Need we say more?
Challenging Perceptions - Plugging Intifada Mountain...eat your heart out Heath.
J-Files: Jinn of Zion - Special Agents Fox Mu'huldir and Dana Scuhli are on the case